I was taking with a new client the other day and she said, “I’d love to bring my sex life back. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I don’t seem to have any sex drive…it’s been gone for years.”
I asked her if she discussed it with her doctor to rule out any medical issues and she said she mentioned it to him. Her doctor told her there wasn’t anything wrong and that low libido was normal for a woman as she got older. He offered her testosterone with no promises. She declined.
It got me thinking and you know what? I don’t buy it.
I genuinely believe we can raise our levels of desire any time we want, without hormones.
According to the book Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal, women have an entire erectile network that, if properly stimulated, can elevate their erotic experience from “Oh!” to “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
So where do you begin? Buy the book and read it.
Then check your beliefs. If you believe that menopause is a curse and that the horrible symptoms are inevitable, you might want to re-examine that. Symptoms are your body giving you messages.
I agree hormonal imbalance symptoms are very real. And they aren’t your fault.
What if you were to reflect on the things you want to change?
Start with getting in touch with your feelings. Too often women separate themselves from their feelings.
Could how you feel about the shape of your body be affecting your lack of libido? Do you need to start seeing yourself as the beautiful person you are? One who is capable of both giving and receiving love regardless of your shape?
And what about the emotional connection with your partner?
Are you receiving love in a way that feels emotionally fulfilling for you?
In the book “The 5 Love Languages” the author speaks of how people give and receive love differently. Maybe you need to tune into what you need and have a conversation with your partner about how he or she can send you love in a way that you can receive.
Then consider exploring how you feel about your vagina and its health. Your vagina is incredibly special.
As you grow older you may experience thinning of the vaginal mucosa, which can result in a drier, less elastic vagina causing itching, tearing, infections and painful penetration.
But what many women don’t realize is that the vagina has an amazing ability to restore itself.
What if you tried making a few changes to your diet and maybe taking a few targeted herbs or supplements? You would be amazed what an incredibly positive impact this can have on the health of your lady garden.
And suppose you examine your hormonal report card. That would be your periods whether you still get them, or you don’t.
Your period is a picture of your hormonal balance or imbalance. Examining your cycle, past and present, can help you tune in and become your own expert on your body.
When it comes to enjoying physical pleasure with your partner, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Hormone levels are the highest in the morning. So, becoming a morning person can set the tone.
- Being tired and being intimate don’t mix. If you aren’t sleeping well, you need to fix that.
- Skin to skin contact is especially important. Cuddling up with each other naked can be a good start.
- Increase the amount of foreplay. Even before the clothes come off. Be creative with this and think about what turned you on at the beginning of your relationship.
- Keep your vagina lubricated and not just for sex. I love the Amata Life products.
In the end, the road to great sex means being vulnerable and allowing pleasure to move through your body. It means daring to know what you want and feeling safe asking for it.
What do you think? Can you reconnect with “turn-on”?
P.S. If you are ready to make a few changes so you can bring back your confidence and vitality, let’s talk about 1-1 coaching. Click here to set that up.